Aydin Z.

11th day !!!!

Delbare man, too in rooza, ye zare bivafa shode

Mahal be man, nemizare, koli por Edea shode

Vaghty bahash, harf mizanam, sooratesho kaj mikone

migam behesh pisham bemun, ba dele man laj mikone

———————

Chon midune asheghesham , dusesh daram , khodesho migire vasam

Ba hame harfa ke mimiramo divunash manam, khodesho migire vasam

Chon midune asheghesham , dusesh daram , khodesho migire vasam

Ba hame harfa ke mimiramo divunash manam, khodesho migire vasam

Vaght nemide be asooni dige yare man

dore zamunei shode, kelas mizare vase man

az asabaniyate man engari lezat mibare

sobh ta ghooroob poshte saram harfaye najoor mizane . . . .

Hmm 9th day… i have nothing to write. Im neither in the mood to write anything nor having the power to write.

Sick… Mentally… Physically…. Mentally more than Physically. Doesn’t mean im not missing …… i’m just speecheless today for the fact that I don’t really know how it is going.

Ghazie Azin GhaRar Bo0oD…
Hich vaght hichki baram inghadar arzesh nadasht.
ba oomadanesh too zendegim hame chizamo be koli avaz karde bood. nakhastam behesh adat konam az bas doro varamo yejoor dige did mizadam. ama mage mishod? be khodam goftam felani to ke delet az sang nis. has? zaman gozasht. 1 mah ,6 maah, 1 saal…azoon moghe ta alan ye chizayi hoodoode 2 saali migzare.midoones faselemoon faghat ye kooche bala tar nis .farsang-ha baham fasele dashtim. fekresho kon dige khodet.are…joft midoonestim hame chizo.ama del ke dige cheshm nadare bebine man kiam oon kie.etefaghi bood ke oftade bood. shode boodam 2 del. hichki nemidoones cheme .akhe man doosesh dashtam inam khoob midoonestam oonam doosam dare.dore varemoono ye mosht adamae bikar kamin karde boodan . haminan ke khastan jodayie ma yerooz sar berese.
in harfayi ke daram mizanam sakhtarin harfae ke tahala az in dahane man oomade biroon.ama chera bayad begam?chon dige nemitoonam tahamol konam.goft bemir mimordam.goft bemoon mimoondam.chanbar nigash kardam ba oonke asheghoone doosesh dashtam ama ingar jodayi ro mikhoondam . fekr mikonin na ye bar na 2 bar 4-5 raftan oomadan mafhoomesh chi mitoone bashe? ama oon nakhas mano dark kone.oon baram shode bood behtarin.akharin.hamishegi.ama heyf ke shod BEHTARIN ESHTEBAM,AKHARIN ESHTEBAM…ye shab nemididamesh delam hezar ja miraft.kojas?chera nis?nakone baz chizi shode bashe?midoonam age biad bazam mikhad bege dige nemikhad biad…inaro dige khoob hefs shode boodam…ta ye modat gheybesh mizad nemidoonam chera mikhas dige mano nabine  . ama khob hagh dash.mage man arzeshesho dashtam? maloome ke nadashtam . age dashtam alan injoor nemishod halo roozam …che shabhayi o baham sobh mikardim. engar hamash ye khaab bood.ta hamin lahzeye akhar nemidoones baham chikarde. are behesh vabaste shode boodam.mikhastamesh. shode bood hame chizam.ama heyf ke dir goftam…injas ke daram azin dard misoozam ke akhe chera…pas chera khoda behemoon zaboon dade?doroste nemishe hame harfaro ke zad.man hamishe hame harfasho too cheshash mikhoondam.az harfasho halatash.oonam ye adamie khejalati.hich vaght hichio roo raas nemigoft( elahi man ghorboonesh beram  )
in lahzeh akhar nemidoonam chi shod engar hamash too khaab bood…hamash taghsire khodam bood.ama khoda gavahe har dafe fekre raftan zade bood too kalam ama baz delam pishesh bood.hamishe pashimoon boodam.tahala fekresho kardi ? midoonam shayad vase kheylia in etefagh oftade. kheyli bade adam faghat be omide yeki zendegi kone ama oonike omideshe, dige nakhad bahash zendegi kone …
ye shabi too hamin shaba…mesle hame shabha oomadam ba hezar ta omid.oon rooz hame didane ashke mano mikhastan…age ghablana ba 1 saat ghose boghzam miterkid, inbar ba har chizi 1 sec boghzam miterkid.shabo kheyli montazeresh shodam…oomade bood mesle hamishe dir.albate manam kheyli vaght bad gholi kardamo dir oomadam.kheyli vaght bood nasheste boodimo baham begim bekhandim.ba oonke midoonam az kheyli jaryana az dastam gele dare, say mikardam raazish konam ke faramooshesh kone…ama engar nashode bood? yeki az harfamoono bahoone gereft…bahaneha hamana mano darde jodayi hamana…
hamishe migoft vase raftanam bayad ye bahane kamel dashte basham.ye chizi ke betoonam jodayimo saabet konam barash.ama fekr mikonin khodesh toones? TO mage az hamoon avalesh nemidoonesti man inja to oonja?
dastam naae neveshtan nadare  …be man begoo akhe chera?chera bayad in etefagh miyoftad?ki khas maro nefrin kone ke ma be in rooz biyoftim? man ke khoob midoonam toam hanooz delet injas.pas chera rafti?haaa?akhe chera???
tanhaeo dige adat kardam bahash.inke oomadam inja chon nemikhastam dige harfaro too delam nigar daram.dige jae in hame ghose ro nadash…akhe bi marefat,injoori mikhasti too gheseham hamsafaram shi?injoori ? …man hanoozam montazeretam…che too khialam che…
injas yade oon harfayi miyoftam ke yeki migoft. behem migoft;felani yerooz pashimoon mishi.yerooz saret mikhore be yejayi mohkam taze bidar mishio mifahmi che dir jonbidi…are midoonam …doos daram bazam biyay.bazam biyay pishe khodam…midoonam ke miyay.midoonammm…
montazeret hastam…faghat dir nakon zood bia
bashe???
pas felaaan
LINK : http://kh0dam-0-kh0det.blogsky.com/1384/01/25/post-11/

Baazi vaghta fekr mikonam in matlabo man neveshtam !

Where was i on the 7thday… Nowhere, Everywhere, here, there, thinking.

So here i am back on the 8th day.

Dasteto bezar to dastam ,Bia farda ro besazim !
Age ba ham dige bashim , Mishe donia ro besazim !
Del khosham be boodane to , Ba to mishe ham safar shod
Mishe az jade natarsid ! Mishe rafto taze tar shod !
In masire bi nahayat ,Gahi sakhte gahi sade !
Zendegi yani gozashtan, Hata ba paye piade !
Doost daram harfe delet ro , Har chi bashe bedoonam !
Age gholi be to midam ,Paye vade ham bemoonam !
Har ja basham ba to hastam ! Har ja bashi mano dari !
Az gelayehat nemikham , Mano bi khabar bezari !
Age labkhande rezayat ro labat beshine !
Az khoda chizi nemikham , Hame arezoom hamine !

6th day. Had a great night , had a great chat before sleep … Today , i am happier than ever, but do you think my happiness lasts? Ima let the time decide again !

_
Bi to Ba to boodan shode shabo roozam
Bi to amma yadet ba mane hanoozam
Toi tooye harfam toi too nafasham
Vali jaye dastat khaliye too dastam
Man be shogho yade baroon zendamo pajmorde nemisham
Teshneye ye darsam amma sardo delazorde nemisham
Sakhte vaghti too ghazalha az mano to vajei nist
Sakhte bi to ba to boodan sakhte amma charei nist

5th day now, God entrusted me with the power of patience. I value this vertue, but patience always comes at a cost.

That cost is turning me crazy…. كسي را بيش از اندازه واقعيش، براي خودمان بزرگ مي كنيم، كوچكترين عملش، بزرگترين ضربه براي ما خواهد بود

ay khoda delgiram azat, ay zendegi siram azat

ay zendegi mimiramo, omramo migiram azat

in ghosehaye la’nati, az khande dooram mikonan

in nafasaye bi hadaf, zende be gooram mikonan

che lahzehaye khoobie, saniyeeHaye akhare

fereshteye mordane man, mano az inja mibare

wtf happened? i am not receiving any kind of a response ! something is going on !!!

i hope its nothing and i am worrying unreasonably, but how could i NOT worry !! if something happens, only if anything harms …… , FUCK I DONNO WHAT THE FUCK WOULD I DO :-@

Here comes the third day. Fucking hell of a day, don’t even know how this day is going to end.

_
Cheghadr begam dooset daram - Beki begam faghat toro daram

Hala ke delam pishet asire - nazar ba raftanet bemire

ba didane cheshmaye to - bezar delam aroom begire

rafti namoondi pisham - daram divune misham

Nisti to kenaram - bebin che bighararam

az to entezar nadashtam mano tanha bezari - Berio roo vaedehayi ke dade budi pa bezari

.

F*ckin hell, second day.

Age khorshid beshi beri poshte abra, ta sobh mikhunam

age mese bad beri too dashto sahra, mikhamet hanuzam.

Age ghayemaki beri oon sare donya , man bepat misuzam.

Beine hame to faghat khorshide mani, hata az zohr ke didamet khoshgeltari.

هیچ كس…. لیاقت اشكهای تو را ندارد….
و كسی كه چنین ارزشی دارد…. باعث اشك ریختن تو نمی شود.

yeah its all gone.

1st day now, i can tolerate it, trust me. Delam che tange vase didane to, vase didane bahunehaye to.

Miyay migi dooset daram, doost daram booset konam, koli much fadaye cheshat konam.

Khoshgele man dige dar bast nokaretam…

Yeah, its a nice song, truth be told, its all i think about.

Bayad bere eshghet az yadam, baba khoda beres be dadam. hala bebin che rahato sade in dele man zire pat oftade, dige nanana nemitunam man, toro faramooshet konam hatman, akhe delam asire chesmate, delam divuneye oon sedate, vaghty ke to nisti pisham , az tanhaee man divune misham.

Who am i to judge the world ? Who am i to judge whether people are lying to me? Time shows it all, i would rather sit back and relax and let the people show their true selves. but i certainly hope to believe that i am right. It’s so nice to have you back where you belong.

Age beri aroom aroom dele mano, mishkani asoon asoon dele mano.
mibare baroon baroon cheshme mano.

age beri daghoon daghoon dele mano, mishkani asoon dele mano….

Yeah… i have alot of plans for this summer unlike my old ones. im goin to visit my home country after tomorow… when im back ill leave to the UK and couple other countries… ima write back in sometime

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